I've been wanting to update my blog for some time now haha there are two drafts waiting to be finished and published, but I decided to make a new post instead. 😂

I've also been thinking about what to post for the end-of-the-year post. I wanted to do a recap but, you see, if I were to depend on my memory I won't remember much, but if I depend on my photos, there would be too many of them and I can't choose. It's such a headache to have to pick certain photos from hundreds, you know. I actually just got back from Langkawi last Monday and I was so eager to blog about it. However, it stressed me out that I had to choose the best photos so I decided to delay it to probably during my semester break haha.

Let's talk about resolutions now. To be honest, I haven't got any new resolutions (yet). For the past years, it's always been 'I will not procrastinate this year' which has never worked out for me (obviously). Procrastinating is like a habit of mine that I can never erase. Even right now, I'm procrastinating. My final exam is starting this Wednesday, but I haven't studied one bit. It's kind of stressing me out that I'm not studying but still, here we go, I'm writing here.😫 I decided to study early in the morning tomorrow because I just can't do it now.

Oh, resolutions. I'm going to think of at least one now. My friend, Hazim, has got these really cool and respectable resolutions that I'm feeling like wei I want a resolution too. Something that is not cliche and something that I might actually have the potential to do.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I CAN'T THINK OF ONE.

Am I not excited for 2018? I am though. I'm excited for my semester break, for the movies that will come out, for my sleep time, for a possible travel and many more! But for sure I'm not very excited about the fact that I'm going to turn 21 in 2018. Do you know how you want time to go fast so you can finish your studies, but at the same time you want it to go slow because responsibilities will be thrown at your face the older you get? Can you relate to this? I mean like, you finish your studies, you have to work, then you might start your own family, and have kids, and just grow old. Just more and more responsibilities and this is why I want to be a kid again and get taken care of by my family.😩

This is also why we should appreciate our parents, guys. The youth and time that they sacrifice for us. Their love for us can never be replaced. I love you mama and ayah 🙆💖

Wait! I just found my resolution! I will not give up on my studies and just keep pushing forward, being a strong and independent girl that I am, insyaallah.👌

Why is this my resolution? Because ever since I entered university life, I've been feeling like giving up and dropping out and just, I don't know, do something else. The person who's been hearing this the most is Ain haha because I'd be like:


Hahaha ok I think it's funny because I don't even know since when we got so close. But we'd always whatsapp each other telling stuff like this (this is an appreciation to you, so don't ask for some more ok).

I escaped this path once after SPM, but after STPM there's just no other escape and I have no other choice if I were to further my studies. Like Cikgu Raba'a said, if University Seri Ampangan does exist, that would definitely be where I take my degree. Unfortunately, it doesn't exist, so I can't just give up you see. Insyaallah, hikmah will be shown to me one day as to why Allah SWT chose this for me.

So I can't give up, and I hope to get rid of that feeling this year!

I'm also hoping that I won't forget my precious blog.😝

Till here then. Goodbye 2017. I'll see your brother, 2018, tomorrow (insyaallah)!



Till the next post, thank you for reading!

Well, it's been a long time since I wrote something on this blog. I've been busy with assignments, quizzes and tests (life test also) just as any student would be during the final weeks of the semester. I wouldn't say that time flew so fast because I know how much I suffered from homesickness and kept complaining that time was not on my side haha.

I got home yesterday and this is why I'm able to write now! I've officially finished ALL my tests and assignments yesterday and wow it was a great feeling since it's finally over! Err not really over but you know what I mean. I just unpacked my luggage just now and it's funny how I was unpacking the same stuff that I reluctantly packed three months ago. I feel like hugging the three-months-ago me and say "There, there, you're gonna be okay soon. Don't give up because I didn't." and pat her head while laughing silently.😂

So, have you heard the news? I still can't believe that he's gone. His songs are still playing in my head as I'm typing this. It just doesn't feel real to me. The happy guy that we all know. Sigh. My timeline was full of people talking about him, but it only hit me when I read the letter.

Depression, guys. Depression.

I hate how some people make jokes about depression and suicide. I hate these people's mentalities. Just because they've never been through depression, they're being insensitive about it. Worst of all, people who do it to seek attention. I'm not saying this because of the K-Pop soul in me, but I'm saying this as a human.

Depression is totally not a joke. Do you make jokes about people who are sick physically? Like someone with cancer or just about any kind of health disease that we know. No, right? Well, normal and sane people wouldn't.

It should be the same for people with depression. The only difference is that you can't see how painful it is physically, because it's happening inside their heads. The struggle to get out of the problems, the fear of people's reactions if they find out, and the deep pain and scream inside that they just want to stop. They might as well do anything just to make the pain stop.

There's this quote that I read on Twitter:

It only takes a moment for that demon in our heads to take control of our minds and decide, 

"This is the perfect moment to die."

It's true. Someone doesn't just think "Oh I'm going to kill myself today." out of nowhere without a warning. The process is not that simple. Not all people who face depression is willing to share it with other people because they're scared of the reactions that they will get. Why? Because our judgmental society makes them feel that way.

I'm no psychologist, but to anyone who's facing depression, I beg you to seek help, or tell your close ones about it.  Let them help you. It will end one day, insyaallah. Seek Allah SWT and strengthen your faith. I'm not going to make it sound so simple, but please don't give up. Ever. There's always a solution to everything. EVERYTHING. So never ever give up, I'm begging you.

To everyone else, please always be kind to others. I'm not perfect myself so I may not always be kind. But we should try to be. We don't know what other people are going through. Just a simple smile from a stranger can help gather up someone's courage again. We never know. Always be sensitive to others. Never ridicule people who have problems. Again, because we never know what they're going through.

Just be nice.


Forgive me if there's any mistake in this post. Be strong, everyone.

Hello, a quick update here. It's now 7:51 am and I've got a class at 10 but I suddenly have the urge to write something so here we go!

It's already November now. To be really honest, I didn't think I could survive here in UiTM. This is my first time being away from home all by myself, so my homesick level was no joke guys. Everything I did reminded me of home. The songs I listened to, the people I saw, just about everything. It's so bad that I thought of just dropping out and find some college near Seremban or something (strangely it only happens on Mondays, Monday blues is real guys). But everytime that happened I would tell myself, "Just give yourself a week, if you're still like this, just go ahead and quit."

But since I'm still here, of course I didn't quit. I became okay after a few days (my strategy worked). As I got busier with more tests, quizzes and assignments, and oh not to forget, college activities, it got easier for me. I mean, I still get homesick but not as bad as before. I still get excited at the sight of Seremban Prima, I still feel like hugging Seremban whenever I'm there, but no more crying done. I'm proud of myself haha😂.

Roommates, classmates, and classes are all okay here so far alhamdulillah. There's this one English class about public speaking that is mandatory for me to take. *sigh* In this class we have to give two speeches; informative and persuasive. Everyone who knows me would know that I would do anything to avoid giving speeches in public. Anything, you know. I'd rather study 24/7 than do public speaking. I just really hate to be the centre of attention, unless it's what I have to do (like being the MC during my prefect days).

So I just did the first speech last Monday, which was informative speech. I dreaded every minute, every second that I had to wait for my turn. I wanted it to be over real soon but at the same time I really hated the thought of doing it😣. I knew I was only going to do it in front of my class, but still, I just knew them for less than 2 months. Then I got up and spoke and... I think I did well? Well to me it was good because I didn't stutter and all that but I might've spoken too fast to finish speaking quickly. But well done, girl! *pats dear self* But I still have persuasive speech to go... which is a lot longer... sigh.

Oh, another thing! I have two beautiful babies now😍.


So, Iman Publications opened a booth at PTAR UiTM since who knows when, and I only found out on Tuesday through their tweet. Then I went there the next day with such an excitement I can't even describe! I was soooooo so so excited when I got to the booth and I nearly jumped because weh oh my God precious books were everywhere! Mato's books (my favs) were there as well as Teme!💓💓 I haven't bought some books after such a long time so it was really thrilling for me😆. The last time I bought a book was Hiatus by Mato but it was through online payment and the feeling was different hehe. Aw I really miss the book smell! Now I've got to find some perfect time to read them.

Till the next post!💘