Assalamualaikum 💖

Well hellooooooo there! This is so awkward.

I'm unofficially done with my final semester last month, and have been on the mission of job hunting ever since. Some days I felt reeaaaalllyy happy only to end up feeling jumpy in the evening. And it's mostly due to my overthinking when I still hadn't received any calls for interviews. A few of my friends have started working already and that makes me nervous.

Bro it's only been a month. I don't know why I kept feeling that way. All the while I was going through that, somehow I kept encountering posts saying things like, "Leave your future to Allah.", "Syaitan loves it when you worry about your future and past.", and "Rezeki tak pernah salah alamat.". At that time, I felt like, I know. I know all that. But it's so hard to stop thinking and worrying. I wanted to work and help my family out but why couldn't I land myself a job? I realized that I wasn't trying hard enough, but I didn't know what to do for my effort to be enough.

It reached a point where I could feel myself straying away from Allah because of all those worries I had. I wanted to have faith that everything's going to be alright and that Allah will give the best for me sooner or later, but I swear it was so difficult to do that. I wanted to succeed in my life here but it felt like I was going to fail in the akhirah if I kept acting that way. I felt so lost, thinking why can't I succeed in both worlds? I wanted to succeed so much in this world but what's the point if the success is temporary?

The note I wrote on my phone.

Then I figured that I probably could, if I could balance both worlds. I slowed down the job seeking process for a while to get rid of my worries. I tried to listen to Islamic lectures and improve my solat just to feel closer to Allah again. Just to at least feel His presence. I haven't been very consistent but I do feel calmer and happier now. If I could istiqamah on this, I can imagine how much more content and happier I will be. I'm not saying that I don't worry at all nowadays, because I still do, but not as frequent and bad as before. Alhamdulillah.

I'm not a perfect person, and I'm not writing this to show myself being something that I'm not. I'm still trying to improve myself. I just wanted to say how much happier we will be if Allah is present in our hearts. I felt it this time around, although not fully as I'm still struggling to khusyu' when performing my prayers. I wanted to say that, when we worry too much about our future, we just kind of forget to live in the present. It would be much better if we leave all our worries to Allah and ask for His help. And lastly, I wanted to say that, the closer our hearts are to Allah, the more peaceful our lives will be, insyaallah.

May Allah help us in our journey to become better Muslims.

Till the next post!💞

Hello there! I've been avoiding this blog for some time now hahaha. I said that I'd talk about what I did last February this semester break, but ha I guess kata-kataku hanya mimpi di siang hari. The break is going to be over in two days bruh and I still haven't started so I'm just going to tell you what happened. Actually,








*drum rolls*








I went to South Korea with my siblings! This was something very unplanned. On all the ten days of my stay there, I'd find some time to write everything that I did on that day. Why? I WAS SO EAGER TO WRITE ABOUT IT ON MY BLOG.😂 I didn't want to forget anything. All the experiences are here, and they're just waiting to be uploaded on Le Journey. It's been six months now duh I don't even know when I will actually upload them. I'm starting my fifth semester soon, and then there's my internship, and my final semester. But insyaallah I promise I'll upload them though even if it's messy. I don't really want to disappoint the Feb 2019 me. 😩

For today, I'm going to talk about something else. I'm wearing braces!! 😆 It's been ten days now. The reason that I'm wearing braces is that I have overbite and overlapping bottom teeth. They're not so severe that people would notice them right away, but they've always been a part of my insecurities. I had no problems with it as I was growing up, like I've embraced that part of me but the insecurity would just creep back in at random times. You know what I mean?

I only realized that my teeth were different from others when I was in primary school. I never really noticed that I couldn't close my mouth naturally. I thought it was normal that way until my sister asked me to close my mouth and I was like "I AM closing my mouth what do you mean??" Then I brought my lips together and thought, "Oh. I wasn't." Since then, I practiced closing my mouth until it only felt natural to do so. The same goes for my other insecurity; my nose. Honestly, this is like my main insecurity since it's clearly visible.

Here's the thing though. I've embraced my insecurities as time passes by. I'm totally fine with them now and I'm able to just brush off jokes about them. But the insecurities would attack me if people keep mentioning them way too many times in a single conversation. I'm fine once it's over though. I enjoy being with myself, you see. I can't let people's negativity ruin my joy.

However, back then, when I was a child, I could not be okay just like that. You make fun of me, I get nervous and pretend to laugh it off, but deep inside I think of all sorts of negative things. "Why am I different from others? Why do I have to look like this? Why can't I be perfect like others? Am I ugly?" It was endless. It didn't happen that often but every time it did, I'd remember. Most adults would say nice things, but others couldn't be as kind. I would avoid the person who said it in fear of them repeating the same thing to me. I couldn't handle it. I was embarrassed for having these facial features whenever someone said those stuff about me. I was a child who didn't understand what "embrace your insecurities" meant. As far as I remember, I've never told this to anyone, not even to my parents, as I thought it was embarrassing (although my parents didn't make fun of me). It got better as time passed though, since I started to accept myself as who I was.

Next time you want to make fun of a child, think again. You might just want to joke around and be funny, but it's not funny to the child. If the child doesn't feel insecure about it, then it's fine. But what if he/she does? It's not something that you can see, so the best way is to just stop making fun of something they could be insecure about.

Don't misunderstand though. I had a really happy childhood.😂 I'm just saying what could happen if you ridicule a child.

Anyway, I've actually wanted to put on braces since my school days, but whenever the topic came up I would dismiss it because I was scared. I'm not very pain-tolerant so yeah. Last May/June, I went for teeth scaling and thought, should I really wear braces now? I couldn't make up my mind so it took me a while before I finally decided to just do it. If I'm really going to wear them someday, I better do it now. And I finally did on 21/8/2019. Phew.

The process of putting on braces didn't hurt at all, but the aftereffects though... That's what hurt. I read this blog where she said that her teeth felt weak (?) something like that so she couldn't eat anything the first week. I didn't understand this at first. I felt like it's impossible for your teeth to behave that way. After I left the clinic, my teeth felt somewhat tight and I nearly cried while eating my McD porridge :') At that time my teeth didn't hurt that much when I bit the chicken but it just felt awkward having those metals in my mouth. The next day? Bruh I couldn't bite a thing doh even the softest food and I was like "what the heck is wrong with my teeth😂". It hurt when I tried to bite anything weh I never thought it was possible.

The first time I looked at myself in the mirror after putting on the braces, I thought I made the worst decision in my life. I looked ugly. Hazim sent me a picture of a sloth wearing braces two days before and I looked exactly like that. He said I was going to be a nerd and I really did. It's not like I didn't expect myself to look ugly but man the reality hit me. I felt like taking off the braces instantly.

A new point of insecurity arose and I didn't know how to overcome that because I felt ugly all the time. The fourth day, I cried. I regretted deciding to wear braces as I was already fine and not insecure about my teeth. Now what? Another insecurity crept in making me feel miserable. I couldn't close my mouth naturally before, and now, it's even more so because of the metals. But I practiced, just like I did last time, and today I'm able to bring my lips together at ease. It's been ten days now, and I'm proud to say that I'm overcoming this new insecurity of mine!! I even met up with my friends the other day so I guess it's a progress hehe.

To anyone with insecurities, I hope you'll find a way to cope with them and accept yourself as you are. Nobody is perfect. Some people might seem like they are, but even they, too, have insecurities. So embrace your insecurities, and love yourself more!💕



P.S. Happy 62nd Independence Day to my beloved country, Malaysia!💖


Till the next post!😋

Well, it's been a long time since I wrote something on this blog. I've been busy with assignments, quizzes and tests (life test also) just as any student would be during the final weeks of the semester. I wouldn't say that time flew so fast because I know how much I suffered from homesickness and kept complaining that time was not on my side haha.

I got home yesterday and this is why I'm able to write now! I've officially finished ALL my tests and assignments yesterday and wow it was a great feeling since it's finally over! Err not really over but you know what I mean. I just unpacked my luggage just now and it's funny how I was unpacking the same stuff that I reluctantly packed three months ago. I feel like hugging the three-months-ago me and say "There, there, you're gonna be okay soon. Don't give up because I didn't." and pat her head while laughing silently.😂

So, have you heard the news? I still can't believe that he's gone. His songs are still playing in my head as I'm typing this. It just doesn't feel real to me. The happy guy that we all know. Sigh. My timeline was full of people talking about him, but it only hit me when I read the letter.

Depression, guys. Depression.

I hate how some people make jokes about depression and suicide. I hate these people's mentalities. Just because they've never been through depression, they're being insensitive about it. Worst of all, people who do it to seek attention. I'm not saying this because of the K-Pop soul in me, but I'm saying this as a human.

Depression is totally not a joke. Do you make jokes about people who are sick physically? Like someone with cancer or just about any kind of health disease that we know. No, right? Well, normal and sane people wouldn't.

It should be the same for people with depression. The only difference is that you can't see how painful it is physically, because it's happening inside their heads. The struggle to get out of the problems, the fear of people's reactions if they find out, and the deep pain and scream inside that they just want to stop. They might as well do anything just to make the pain stop.

There's this quote that I read on Twitter:

It only takes a moment for that demon in our heads to take control of our minds and decide, 

"This is the perfect moment to die."

It's true. Someone doesn't just think "Oh I'm going to kill myself today." out of nowhere without a warning. The process is not that simple. Not all people who face depression is willing to share it with other people because they're scared of the reactions that they will get. Why? Because our judgmental society makes them feel that way.

I'm no psychologist, but to anyone who's facing depression, I beg you to seek help, or tell your close ones about it.  Let them help you. It will end one day, insyaallah. Seek Allah SWT and strengthen your faith. I'm not going to make it sound so simple, but please don't give up. Ever. There's always a solution to everything. EVERYTHING. So never ever give up, I'm begging you.

To everyone else, please always be kind to others. I'm not perfect myself so I may not always be kind. But we should try to be. We don't know what other people are going through. Just a simple smile from a stranger can help gather up someone's courage again. We never know. Always be sensitive to others. Never ridicule people who have problems. Again, because we never know what they're going through.

Just be nice.


Forgive me if there's any mistake in this post. Be strong, everyone.

1. Although I didn't quit blogging, I started becoming active once again after I changed my theme last June.
2. I started using Twitter again since WWBookClub existed.
3. I created my Instagram account last raya because I was missing out too much as a youngster.

I want to share something today. About introverts, but let's just see if I'm able to get to my point or not today.😱



I am an introvert, and I've always been one. I always avoid talking to strangers unless there's no other choice for me. If someone else could speak instead of me, then I won't speak because I don't feel it's necessary. But I'm not THAT bad though. I can talk, but only when I think I have to. I'm not 'sombong' you see. If you approach me first, I'll talk to you. It just becomes a different story if I'm the one who have to speak first.

Most people have the first impressions of me being 'sombong' and serious, because they say I look scary when I don't smile. So, I tried to smile a lot more 😬(until it gets excessive now). I don't talk a lot (unless I'm comfortable with you, then you'll get tired of me) so I understand why they say that.

Being quiet and reserved, books and novels were my bloody best friends. I once tried to be an extrovert, to speak more, to be sociable. However, after a while, I realized that that just wasn't me. I wasn't being myself. I had that phase too. When you try to be someone you're not, there's something that prevents you from being at ease.😕

When I stopped trying, somehow, just somehow, I became more introverted than before for a while. I'm not sure what happened, but I just did. Phew. Just for a while, though. Now I'm just me, being me, so me. Lol.

The thing with being quiet is, people just assume that you're kind. Well, I may be kind *cough* but sometimes people would take you for granted because of it. I only seem kind, not that kind.

Some words/tips for people like me though.

• Don't change just because someone criticizes you. Change for yourself, for the better, or don't change at all.
• If someone says you're too quiet or anything like it, don't get affected. If you have the courage, tell them that they're the ones who talk too much.😏
• Don't try to be someone you're not, but instead, work for it. Get involved in societies, volunteer to be a leader, get a part-time job. Do anything that helps you interact with the human beings and lift up your confidence. Rome wasn't built in a day. Take your time.
• It's okay to be shy. It's okay to be quiet. It's okay to be yourself, because you have to be comfortable around yourself for you to be comfortable around others. Just do what makes you feel comfortable.
• Be kind, but not too kind. Don't let others manipulate or take advantage of you. Stand up for yourself.

Well, what can I say, deep down I'm a Hufflepuff.😌


Till the next post!

Assalamualaikum.



As I said in the previous post, I'd like to talk about appreciation, being grateful.

Well, there are a lot of things that I'm grateful for in this life. First of all, of course, I'm grateful for my family. Because they're my home, and I get tired if I'm away from home for a long time. I'm the kind of person who prioritizes my family first compared to friends. I mean, I've been with them since forever so I just want to get stuck to them for another forever lol. I'm grateful for being born a Muslim, because I know how beautiful Islam truly is.

Then there are my friends. Tbh I don't have a lot of friends. Well there might be a lot of friends but I'm talking about friends that I can open up with, hang out with, that I won't feel offended by their criticism. I have very few of them who have stuck with me through thick and thin. I'm grateful for them. Nevertheless, I'm also very grateful for those friends, those buddies, those acquaintances that never fail to make my day and know my personality enough to help me sometimes. I could name them all but nah the list will go on and on.

You know what they say about random acts of kindness, so I'm even grateful for the kind strangers. I'm an introvert you see, like 70% introverted, so it's hard for me to simply mix around people. Well I'm not saying that it is "hard" but I'm just a very awkward person when I'm with new people so I tend to avoid going to social events or be there by myself.

Lol all I'm saying is I'm extremely grateful for those who led me out of awkward situations. Eg: talking to me when I'm alone in the midst of human beings. Not always but yeah, sometimes. I'm grateful for people who understand the struggles of introverts 😢😭 (it doesn't mean that I hate being alone though).


Of course, not forgotten, I'm grateful for all my teachers from kindergarten until the sixth form. I remember most of them, especially the remarkable ones. Thank you for teaching me life.

I'm grateful for a lot of things. For being born, for being alive, for people who inspire me, for technology, for pretty much everything.

So I would like to express my gratitude to everyone I mentioned (directly and indirectly), you'll know it's you I'm talking about. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, truly, deeply. 💖

(And in case you're wondering, yup, this post can't get any cornier.)

Adios, till my next post!