An hour ago we entered 2018. What was I doing? I was watching SBS Gayo Daejun at that time haha. It was okay with great ending performance by EXO. Eh by the way it's the first post of 2018!

In my earlier post, I said that I was going to study early in the morning but here I am, typing, AGAIN, on my blog. I'm not even mad anymore because I know myself that well. Procrastination = Me. I'm going to have only a day and a half to finish studying TITAS before the exam on Wednesday oh God I don't know how I'm going to cram all those facts inside my head.

Why am I writing again when I've done the new year post already? Honestly I don't know. I had gone through a lot in 2017 which involves my change in personality and mindset. It was as though I was still searching for myself and my place in this world. My mind would run amok from time to time during the times when I tried to decipher the foreign reality that I was facing, when nothing made sense to me.

I don't know how to explain this. But one thing for sure, I kept changing my mind, or maybe my mind kept changing me? I have no idea, and this is why I'm writing this post. Just in case my future self decides to change her mind on some things again. This could also be a reminder/advice to whoever's reading this.


Girl, please don't give up in whatever you're doing. Keep on pushing yourself in studies, or whatever you're interested in, but always remember to take breaks in between. If you can't seem to do it, allow yourself some time to make decisions. It's not wrong when you're late to catch up in studies, as long as you're comfortable and cool with it. Don't decide anything when you're overwhelmed with emotions, as I'm pretty sure you don't want to regret it in the future.

Explore things. Take part in activities that you like. Push yourself to be brave and bold like you always did. Learn to be patient with people who don't meet your expectations. Why? Because you don't even meet everyone's expectations, so be patient just like how you want others to be patient with you. But still, you've got to be dauntless to express your opinions and correct others' mistakes. Don't just accept everything when you know that it's wrong. It's not wrong to be a perfectionist in your work, remember that and ignore people who say otherwise.

Just be who you want to be and don't ever get affected by judgmental people. It's not wrong to be different and think differently from others. Also, please try not to procrastinate. Aih but I know myself better.

I hope that you're able to make the best out of 2018, and make every moment meaningful. Take risks and get out of that comfort zone of yours (but not too risky I hope). Take care of yourself and those around you. Be sensitive to changes around you and be wise to take the right actions. Just think before you act, alright? Know that I've got your back all the time so please be a strong girl no matter what. Whenever things are hard, just come back here or seek the ones you trust, insyaallah they will be there for you.

 I'm hoping to be able to make a recap post by the end of the year where at the end of the post, I'll say "It's been a great year".😊

Till the next post!

I've been wanting to update my blog for some time now haha there are two drafts waiting to be finished and published, but I decided to make a new post instead. 😂

I've also been thinking about what to post for the end-of-the-year post. I wanted to do a recap but, you see, if I were to depend on my memory I won't remember much, but if I depend on my photos, there would be too many of them and I can't choose. It's such a headache to have to pick certain photos from hundreds, you know. I actually just got back from Langkawi last Monday and I was so eager to blog about it. However, it stressed me out that I had to choose the best photos so I decided to delay it to probably during my semester break haha.

Let's talk about resolutions now. To be honest, I haven't got any new resolutions (yet). For the past years, it's always been 'I will not procrastinate this year' which has never worked out for me (obviously). Procrastinating is like a habit of mine that I can never erase. Even right now, I'm procrastinating. My final exam is starting this Wednesday, but I haven't studied one bit. It's kind of stressing me out that I'm not studying but still, here we go, I'm writing here.😫 I decided to study early in the morning tomorrow because I just can't do it now.

Oh, resolutions. I'm going to think of at least one now. My friend, Hazim, has got these really cool and respectable resolutions that I'm feeling like wei I want a resolution too. Something that is not cliche and something that I might actually have the potential to do.

I DON'T KNOW WHY I CAN'T THINK OF ONE.

Am I not excited for 2018? I am though. I'm excited for my semester break, for the movies that will come out, for my sleep time, for a possible travel and many more! But for sure I'm not very excited about the fact that I'm going to turn 21 in 2018. Do you know how you want time to go fast so you can finish your studies, but at the same time you want it to go slow because responsibilities will be thrown at your face the older you get? Can you relate to this? I mean like, you finish your studies, you have to work, then you might start your own family, and have kids, and just grow old. Just more and more responsibilities and this is why I want to be a kid again and get taken care of by my family.😩

This is also why we should appreciate our parents, guys. The youth and time that they sacrifice for us. Their love for us can never be replaced. I love you mama and ayah 🙆💖

Wait! I just found my resolution! I will not give up on my studies and just keep pushing forward, being a strong and independent girl that I am, insyaallah.👌

Why is this my resolution? Because ever since I entered university life, I've been feeling like giving up and dropping out and just, I don't know, do something else. The person who's been hearing this the most is Ain haha because I'd be like:


Hahaha ok I think it's funny because I don't even know since when we got so close. But we'd always whatsapp each other telling stuff like this (this is an appreciation to you, so don't ask for some more ok).

I escaped this path once after SPM, but after STPM there's just no other escape and I have no other choice if I were to further my studies. Like Cikgu Raba'a said, if University Seri Ampangan does exist, that would definitely be where I take my degree. Unfortunately, it doesn't exist, so I can't just give up you see. Insyaallah, hikmah will be shown to me one day as to why Allah SWT chose this for me.

So I can't give up, and I hope to get rid of that feeling this year!

I'm also hoping that I won't forget my precious blog.😝

Till here then. Goodbye 2017. I'll see your brother, 2018, tomorrow (insyaallah)!



Till the next post, thank you for reading!

Well, it's been a long time since I wrote something on this blog. I've been busy with assignments, quizzes and tests (life test also) just as any student would be during the final weeks of the semester. I wouldn't say that time flew so fast because I know how much I suffered from homesickness and kept complaining that time was not on my side haha.

I got home yesterday and this is why I'm able to write now! I've officially finished ALL my tests and assignments yesterday and wow it was a great feeling since it's finally over! Err not really over but you know what I mean. I just unpacked my luggage just now and it's funny how I was unpacking the same stuff that I reluctantly packed three months ago. I feel like hugging the three-months-ago me and say "There, there, you're gonna be okay soon. Don't give up because I didn't." and pat her head while laughing silently.😂

So, have you heard the news? I still can't believe that he's gone. His songs are still playing in my head as I'm typing this. It just doesn't feel real to me. The happy guy that we all know. Sigh. My timeline was full of people talking about him, but it only hit me when I read the letter.

Depression, guys. Depression.

I hate how some people make jokes about depression and suicide. I hate these people's mentalities. Just because they've never been through depression, they're being insensitive about it. Worst of all, people who do it to seek attention. I'm not saying this because of the K-Pop soul in me, but I'm saying this as a human.

Depression is totally not a joke. Do you make jokes about people who are sick physically? Like someone with cancer or just about any kind of health disease that we know. No, right? Well, normal and sane people wouldn't.

It should be the same for people with depression. The only difference is that you can't see how painful it is physically, because it's happening inside their heads. The struggle to get out of the problems, the fear of people's reactions if they find out, and the deep pain and scream inside that they just want to stop. They might as well do anything just to make the pain stop.

There's this quote that I read on Twitter:

It only takes a moment for that demon in our heads to take control of our minds and decide, 

"This is the perfect moment to die."

It's true. Someone doesn't just think "Oh I'm going to kill myself today." out of nowhere without a warning. The process is not that simple. Not all people who face depression is willing to share it with other people because they're scared of the reactions that they will get. Why? Because our judgmental society makes them feel that way.

I'm no psychologist, but to anyone who's facing depression, I beg you to seek help, or tell your close ones about it.  Let them help you. It will end one day, insyaallah. Seek Allah SWT and strengthen your faith. I'm not going to make it sound so simple, but please don't give up. Ever. There's always a solution to everything. EVERYTHING. So never ever give up, I'm begging you.

To everyone else, please always be kind to others. I'm not perfect myself so I may not always be kind. But we should try to be. We don't know what other people are going through. Just a simple smile from a stranger can help gather up someone's courage again. We never know. Always be sensitive to others. Never ridicule people who have problems. Again, because we never know what they're going through.

Just be nice.


Forgive me if there's any mistake in this post. Be strong, everyone.