First of all, I still feel weird about writing this because it feels like it's still 2018 for me. Wasn't it just a few months ago when I wrote the 2018 new year post? And you're telling me I'm already living in the year 2019? My goodness. Time sure flies. But happy new year everyone!

A quote by Epik High's Tablo. I love it!💕

I noticed that I wrote this last year in this post:


I'm pretty late, I'm actually making the recap post exactly a year after I posted that.

So, was 2018 a great year for me? (IT FEELS SO AWKWARD USING THE PAST TENSE) Uh-huh I'm pretty sure it was, since I can't really recall any bad stuff happening. Probably some unfortunate things, but not bad. Thus, I'm going to highlight the four memories from 2018 that I never thought I would make.


The first one would be SUKIPT 2018. I'm a bit proud of this one, since it needed me to break out of my shell to actually be able to attend this event. I was still in my first semester when Aina asked me to tag along, the semester when my homesickness was so severe I would go home even if it was only for a day. For the semester break, I would've expected myself to stay as close to home as possible, but no, I went to UKM for like 10 days instead. I met new people and experienced new things so yes, I definitely enjoyed my stay there!




Next, trips with Ain Syahirah! She had been busy planning for our trips to historical places (we both love history) a.k.a. museums during our second semester break. She actually had a short semester in between so wow job well done dude!😂 Our first trip in July involved going to Islamic Arts Museum, National Planetarium and Malaysian Royal Police Museum. Man I was excited throughout the whole trip as it was my first time making that kind of trip with a friend, to museums at that! In August we went to National Art Gallery after her short semester ended. Mind you, we know nothing much about arts, but we still enjoyed the trip! Hereby, I would like to express my gratitude to you, Ain Syahirah, for being the master planner of our trips, from our journey, to the destinations and the food we had. Here's to more trips with you! (I hope you're not tired of me already😐)


The third moment is when I went mountain climbing with my sisters and cousin. Hiking had always been in my bucket list, yet I never got the courage to make it come true because of my stamina. Whenever the question 'sea or mountain' came up, I would always choose mountain because I had this dream of going hiking up a hill or mountain someday. Aaaanndd I grabbed the opportunity that came on our 61st Independence Day. I'm glad I didn't give up halfway up the mountain because if I did, I wouldn't be able to include it in this post.😂 Nah just kidding, because if I gave up, I might never want to try mountain climbing again. I'm proud of myself.😛


Last but not least, and it's still new and fresh in my mind, going to BTOB Fan Meeting last December 16th. Frankly, I'm scared to continue writing right now as I might get too excited again and write a whole long paragraph about BTOB and how Ilhoon looked at me omg help me! That look he had is still vivid in my mind omg omg omg! By the way, I just want to say that I've 90% moved on from that fan meeting. The first week was too hard for me. I spent my study week listening to their songs, getting emotional, watching their videos, Beatcom, crying some more. I think I'm okay now, although I was upset about them not uploading a video on that fan meeting a few days ago.😂 Again, thanks to Ain Syahirah for purchasing the tickets for both of us! Thank you for creating 2018 memories with me and thank you for taking me to see Jung Ilhoon :')


2018 had been a wonderful year for me. Thank you to my family, friends, acquaintances and everyone who contributed in making my 2018. I love you, stay close, and let's keep pushing forward for a better year this 2019.💖

And yes, my dear younger self, 2018 had been a great year, probably one of my best yet, alhamdulillah.😊

HAPPY NEW YEAR!🎉🎈

Till the next post!🙆

Hi guys! I'm finally publishing this post two days after I attended BTOB in Malaysia. It took me a while to post this because this event is very momentous to me, so I'd like to keep it as a precious memory by writing as perfectly as I can.

But first, I'm going to warn you that I might get too excited because I already AM ecstatic right now. (Click here to play Warning by Day6!)

Another but, but I feel super guilty for Day6 though. They just had their comeback but I couldn't focus on them since they came back during my Week 14. When the hectic week was over, I needed to prepare myself for BTOB concert, so I promised myself to start streaming Day6's new songs on Monday. However, here I am, on Tuesday, still unable to move on from BTOB members. *sigh* I'm going to try to move on ASAP seeing that tomorrow is our Brian's birthday!🍰

Alright, first things first, Ain is the one who planned the trip and bought the tickets for both of us, so thank you! I've known BTOB since their debut, and I really loved Insane and Irresistible Lips because of how catchy they were, but after those two songs, I think I lost track of their updates. I did listen to some of their new songs but I wasn't much of a big fan. I only started paying full attention to them again when Missing You came out. That song left a huge impact on me and I couldn't move on for a while. Ain being a big fan of BTOB really wasn't helping, because she let me know what the members are really like and that made me grow fond of them. The end!

Okay it's not the end. It's really the beginning of everything that I'm about to tell you. I don't know if it's going to be a lengthy post or not, but I'm going to go through a lot of phases of editing before I post this. I want to keep these memories forever so I need to let everything out. Prior to the fan meeting, I bought myself a blue scarf and a white blouse to match the theme, which is blue and white! I also practised the fanchants for Missing You, Only One For Me and Beautiful Pain and listened to some songs of them that I didn't know. All because I didn't want to go as a clueless fan (but I still became one in the end). It felt like I was studying for an examination oh my.

D-Day. I woke up feeling like, it's the day! It's the day that I'm going to see Ilhoon! (Yes, Ilhoon is my bias, but I love all of them tbh) It's the day that I'm going to melt when I see him up close! I got ready and tried to make sure that I looked good to meet him later HAHA it was like getting ready for a date.😂 The thought of seeing them all kept me smiling to myself the whole time.

We took the commuter rail to KL Sentral and then a GrabCar to MITEC. We were already excited to see people wearing blue at the KL Sentral because for all we knew they could be Melodies too! When we reached MITEC at around 10:30 a.m. though, we couldn't see any single person alive, and it turned out we were supposed to come in through the North Entrance, not the south one. After that, I was literally skipping my way to the elevator since I was so so so so excited, I was thrilled at the thought of seeing Melodies in blue and white and to actually arrive at the venue. When we arrived on the third floor, we heard voices and saw people in blue and white gathering. It felt like I turned into an electron who got promoted to the highest level possible. We went to collect our tickets at the redemption counter, and there were standees of each member near us. Man it felt unreal that I was going to see them that afternoon.

The standees

We collected our tickets and got excited again because oh gosh what if we were selected for the photo session?! (30 fans were selected for the photo session) We chose our spots outside the hall and sat down. I read out the serial numbers on our tickets while Ain was checking the numbers of the lucky winners. Nevertheless, both of our tickets weren't on the list. It was quiet for a while. Remember how I said I couldn't stop smiling whenever the thought of meeting the members crossed my mind? Well, this was the first time that I lost my smile. I don't know, I wasn't expecting much but still I was pretty disappointed about not winning anything. We both quietly ate our sandwiches until we saw a crowd forming nearby. AAAAA we got up at once to collect the freebies given out by the Melodies. My spirit was lifted up immediately the moment Melodies started distributing freebies.😝

I was exhilarated when I got this since it was so hard to get his photocard!

The handheld banners by Melodies hehe

Anyway, our queue numbers were 525 and 526, but I was relieved to find out that the queue number would be up to 1000, so we'd still be the first half to come into the hall. I was and am honestly grateful to all the Melodies who provided the freebies like the photocards, button badges and handheld banners. BTOB Malaysia even handed out LED finger lights for those who didn't have lightsticks, and I think it was very, very nice and considerate of them. (OH MY GOD RIGHT NOW BEAUTIFUL PAIN IS PLAYING AND I WANT TO CRY) Of all the photocards, I got only two of Ilhoon oh my it just wasn't my luck. I even got a poster of BTOB! I think they were randomly selecting people with red stuff to give out the posters, so thanks to my red bag, I got one! But I gave it to Ain already since she promised to go to the Day6 concert with me next year if they were to come to Malaysia! (KEEP YOUR PROMISE)

I could see fans from all over the world coming. Indonesia, Philippines, South Korea, Taiwan, etc. Weh legit I envy them all for being able to come all the way to another country just to see people that they love on the stage. Anyway, Ain and I were separated for a while to collect photocards. All of a sudden I heard people screaming and I was like wait what's happening right now. I thought it was nothing at first but the screaming continued for a while and I panicked because I was too far from the scene. I started to make my way through the crowd only to find out that some of the members had already gone inside the hall! I WAS LIKE WEH WHY DIDN'T I GO EARLIER I COULD'VE SEEN THEM! Ain said she saw Sungjae and probably Ilhoon as well. But it's okay since I was going to see them later anyway (GWAENCHANHA GWAENCHANHA GWAENCHANHA😭).

We started queuing up some time later, but we were only allowed to enter at 4:30 p.m. according to our queue numbers. Before we entered, the management team checked our bags. Now, I said previously that I got a poster earlier right? At that time the poster was still with me, so I was stuck because I couldn't bring it in. The man said that I had to keep it at the lost and found counter. I was speechless but I held my groan in. To be frank, I felt like leaving the poster right there and just go inside because I needed to choose the perfect seat to view the boys! But macam sayang nak tinggal so I still did as required and went in afterwards. I was annoyed at first since it took a while for me to get in the hall, but I'm fine now because those people were just doing their jobs and I actually salute them for their great work.

Going in the hall, I saw that Ain was already waiting for me. We chose the seats on the right side of the stage where they already placed hand fans on the seats. I kept giggling while waiting because I couldn't believe that I was going to see them right in front of my eyes, and not on screens anymore! I had to put my spectacles on because I wanted to see them clearly (what a halmeoni).

We're in!

The hand fan that was placed at the seats

It was around 5:05 p.m. when they entered with Missing You. Screams were heard all over the hall, and I was one of the contributors. I saw them perform with my own eyes, guys. RIGHT. IN. FRONT. OF. MY. EYES. I SAW ILHOON SUNGJAE HYUNSIK MINHYUK CHANGSUB AND PENIEL ON THE STAGE DO YOU KNOW HOW UNREAL IT FELT?! I ONLY SAW THEM ON TV AND PHONE AND RIGHT THEN THEY WERE STANDING IN FRONT OF ME! SINGING! DANCING! TO MY FAVOURITE SONG!

Gosh. I never thought my voice could get that loud. I didn't scream intentionally, they just came out involuntarily. I couldn't help it. They looked so damn unreal, yet so real as if they just came out of the screen. Their voices were amazing too. They sounded exactly like they do in their songs. I didn't take a lot of pictures or videos since I decided to just enjoy the moment.

I COULD SEE THEM IN FRONT OF MY OWN EYES

Credit to Ain 💥

All of them were too handsome and cool in real life. How they acted in videos that I watched, was how they acted in real life. I can't forget how playful and funny they were then. The emcee was Hani Fadzil, and in my opinion, she did a reaaallyyy good job at it. She taught them how to say I love you in Malay, and when Ilhoon said "Saya saaaaaayangg awak!" I JUST LOST IT BECAUSE IT WAS TOO CUTE OMG IS THIS GUY FOR REAL! Hyunsik followed suit and of course, Ain went crazy. She also taught them some other words like lapar gila, cepat sikit, ah stress and lek lu hahaha weh I can't doh the way they pronounced them was way too adorable! They stole my heart!💓

For the first session, it was Melody's Wish where the boys each picked one post-it note by Melodies on the board that they placed outside the hall. I regretted not writing anything because I could've been chosen! Ugh I was pretty annoyed. The second session was playing games, where both the members and Melodies had to guess the BTOB song that was going to be played for one second. It was really fun although I didn't know a lot of their songs. One of the funny moments was when the song started with someone's breath and Hyunsik kept claiming that it was his breath oh my goodness hahaha for two songs tau. Fans that were able to answer correctly could come up on the stage to get the presents directly from the members themselves. Weh at this point I was too jealous like I wanted to answer but I didn't know the answers to them?! I probably only knew about four songs out of all the songs that they sang. Man I was so sad. I regretted not being a Melody much earlier. Every time they did or said something cute or funny (YELLOW CARD FOR JUNG ILHOON😂) I lost my mind doh. I think my sanity was practically rotting away the more I was there.

Jung Ilhoon can you not?!😕

Then the ending came. I was surprised because it felt too short. They each said their ending ments and I felt overwhelmed by them. After that they performed Beautiful Pain man I tell you it was so painful for me. The time passed by so quickly and out of the blue they had to leave. For encore, they performed Our Concert. I didn't even know the song but I enjoyed it so much, until the end.

Here are some of the ending ments by the members (credit to Bolt Korea MY):


I don't know man this is too heart-wrenching for me. I know it's going to take a few years before all of the members can come back together to Malaysia, with the military enlistment and all. Not just to Malaysia, but to see the whole group perform again on the same stage, it will take years. After this, Minhyuk and Changsub are going to enlist, like real soon. The fact that I got to see them (although not as a whole) before their enlistment, touched my heart. I don't regret spending money to see them one bit.😊

What happened afterwards was the highlight of the day. The moment that I would remember and treasure for the rest of my life. (HELP MISSING YOU IS PLAYING I'M MISSING YOU BTOB!)

Goodbye Session. We stood up row by row to meet the members up close. We probably got less than 5 seconds each to bid all the members goodbye. When it was my turn, I remember looking at Peniel and he was looking at me so I waved him goodbye. I also saw Minhyuk, I'm not sure if he looked at me or not because my eyes dropped at Ilhoon at once. Once our eyes met I just couldn't and didn't want to break the eye contact so I kept looking at him smiling at me for those few seconds. LIKE LITERALLY HE WAS LOOKING AT ME WITH HIS CHARMING SMILE FOR SECONDS THAT FELT LIKE AGES. It was as if the world stopped spinning and there were only me and Ilhoon looking at each other for those few seconds. That look and expression of him, I don't think I can ever forget that. I couldn't move my eyes to anyone else once my eyes landed on him. I was entranced by his presence. I know it sounds cheesy and all that, but for real, for those few seconds, it felt that way. Up close, he was just in front of me waving his hands at me and smiling at me that I felt enchanted. I really didn't want to break that eye contact we had but I had to keep moving oh gosh I need more time to meet the boys up close 😭😭

I BETTER STOP THERE BECAUSE I MIGHT NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW JUNG ILHOON LOOKED AT ME WITH HIS CAPTIVATING SMILE AND HOW WE MAINTAINED THAT EYE CONTACT FOR A FEW SECONDS.

Yet, I do have a regret because I can't remember seeing Sungjae, Hyunsik and Changsub up close just because I was too stunned at Ilhoon's presence. This is too sad and funny at the same time :') Like, they're all right in front of me but I didn't even see them. Not even a glimpse! Weh I'm speechless doh just WHY WAS I LIKE THAT.😂 Your existence itself is too strong, Jung Ilhoon.😍

All of us each got one poster of BTOB outside the hall, and I also got back the poster from the lost and found counter. Frankly, I was still in a daze after meeting them all, especially after those moments with Ilhoon. I just couldn't believe that it was real. I really had a lot of fun, I enjoyed the moments I had with BTOB and Melodies. This was my first concert (fan meeting) so it meant a lot to me. It was a special one as well. I'm satisfied with everything, from the management team, to the emcee, to my seat, to the interactions, and to BTOB. The only thing that felt insufficient to me is the time we had with BTOB. Two hours is too short. I wanted to stay with them for longer.😭😭

Here goes my collection of freebies that I got from the Melodies on the day of the fan meeting. I can't remember everyone who distributed these but thank you so much! I appreciate it. 😇 To sum up, I got eight group photos, six of Minhyuk, an abundance of Changsub, two of Peniel, two of Sungjae, one of Hyunsik and two of Ilhoon. Only two of Ilhoon guys.😂

My freebies collection 💙

Thank you for everything. This would be an unforgettable experience and memory for me. Genuinely speaking, I still can't move on from the boys. The aftermath of the fan meeting is too strong. It feels as though I was left by someone I love without an explanation. It hurts a lot, I'm badly heartbroken. This is no joke at all, I'm not kidding about this heartbreak. I miss the members a lot, so I keep listening to their songs. But this makes me miss them even more, then I'd feel like crying. But I need to listen to their songs for me to heal my heart. So how am I supposed to move on from them? I wish they had stayed for longer. I'm in love already.😭💔

These memories of meeting with BTOB, is truly a beautiful pain.😔💞

(Don't get me wrong, I loved it, perhaps too much💖)

I'll miss them 😞

Till the next post!💘

How's it going? It's been a while since I last wrote here. There were lots of times when I felt the necessity to blog but since my laptop wasn't with me, I ended up writing them in my phone. Now that I'm blogging again I just feel like hugging my precious blog and laptop oh gosh you have no idea how much I love you Le Journey.💖

I'm currently on my mid-semester break, but it's already Friday now so ugh can you imagine how dreadful I feel about going back to Shah Alam? I just don't want to go back because, you know, I don't feel like it. Can I use that as an excuse to the lecturers? There are so many things waiting for me the moment this break ends, when Week 10 begins. Two presentations, three tests, two assignments due, and some additional stuff. Do they even know what a 'break' means?  Up till now, I've only finished my assignments so can you guess what I'm doing right now?

Procrastinating.

I have a lot on my mind and it's stressing me out. I think this stress would only be over once I'm done with Week 10. But I don't want to go back to Shah Alam though?

SOS

No, wait, this isn't a procrastination. It's me trying to get rid of some of the stress and overthinking in my head, by writing. I know I should be revising for my tests, but I'm going to be here for now. I don't know when else I would get the opportunity to write on my blog since it's going to be hectic soon.

Five more weeks, Ika. Five more weeks till study week. Hold your horse till then (please don't lose your sanity).

Oh I exaggerated too much. I'm not actually that stressed out but it drives me crazy when I think about all the stuff due next week when I'm not prepared for it and furthermore I just refuse to go back to Shah Alam because I love being home because home gives me extra comfort and I don't have to think about other stuff when I'm with my family.

I'm already homesick when I'm currently home but yes that totally makes sense because back when I was in school I would be like 'bila nak balik ni' when I literally just arrived at school gosh can you imagine how much of a home girl I am?

Basically, I'd love to bring my home to everywhere that I go. Can I get that tent that they used during Quidditch World Cup in Harry's fourth year at Hogwarts? I need to place my home in there and can Hermione pretty please lend me her magical purse? Because I'm going to put that tent in the purse so that my home is portable and I will be able to actually carry my home everywhere OH MY GOD I'M A GENIUS! DRACO MUST BE PROUD!

I have so many exciting stories to tell, like how I finally bought my first Day6 album and Dowoon's strap band but that will have to wait. But yes, I will stop this jabber over here. I need to start with the workload somewhere.


P.S. I might've sounded crazy but I'm totally fine I promise.

P.S.S. Pray for me, thank you, I love you.

Till the next post!💝