Pages

  • Home
  • About

Le Journey

Assalamualaikum and hello there 💞

Dari it's 2024, now it's 2025 already hahaha.

I just installed the Blogger app on my phone, so yes this will be the first post that I'm posting through my phone hihi. Selama ni malas nak install sebab rasa macam app ni leceh tapi okay je rupanya. It's been too long since I've written paragraphs and that's the reason that I'm back here on Blogger. I miss writing (as I always say). 

I feel like my brain's functionality is reducing as I neither read nor do math these past few years. Sometimes it makes me wonder how in the world was I a top student when my memory is like this? I keep forgetting stuff. But I guess our IQ can change as time passes by. If we continue to utilize our brain, insyaallah our IQ will stay or get higher. But if we don't, me now is what we become haha. Polished stuff don't stay shiny forever. You stop polishing it, then time will tell you whether it loses its shininess or starts to rust. Ah gitu.

Semoga dengan ini saya mula membaca dan buat math balik. Amin!

Hahaha tiber sangat tau. Padahal asalnya nak cakap pasal benda lain. Cam biasa lah kan tak pernah nak straight to the point. Anyway, before I start my story, long story short, alhamdulillah I delivered my baby boy last September hehe. That will have to wait another post haha because todayyy what I want to write about is...

RSV.

Respiratory syncytial virus.

Sebelum ni pernah je dengar pasal RSV dekat tiktok which memang kesian sangat tengok baby kena. Mostly kena warded, nafas lekuk, wayar cucuk sana sini. Luluh hati bila tengok sebab terbayang dah perasaan ibu dia. Kita pun of course lah dah baca apa simptom yang kita kena take note kan (moga dijauhkan dari anak-anak semua). Takut ya kalau kena.

So anyway, my 10-month-old baby caught a fever one day (sebelum tu dah on off fever for 3 days). Pergi klinik, check darah, okay alhamdulillah. Next day still panas tapi on off. 3rd day malam before tidur tak rasa panas, after 2 hours macam tu tiba-tiba panas sangat. Bagi ubat then decide nak jumpa pakar esoknya sebab risau lama sangat demam.

Pakar suggest buat swab test and guess what? RSV positive. I was shocked tbh cam "ha RSV ke" tapi senyum sebab tak tahu nak react macam mana. Tapi Dr advise buat neb daily je and tengok macam mana. So of course lah I didn't think it was that serious. And kitorang pun macam ok ok je since baby aktif macam biasa even though demam + batuk + selesema. Takde nampak lemau ke apa.

Next day macam dah perasan nafas dia laju sikit. Petang tu masa nak buat neb (dekat klinik lain), Dr pun mention nafas dia laju so dia nak refer hospital. At this point, I was still macam in denial sebab baru semalam pakar tu kata buat neb daily je?? And the way she explained, this wasn't like a serious issue?? So I said, "kalau monitor kat rumah je tak boleh ke Dr sebab dia aktif je" as I imagined all the wires connected to my baby and I couldn't take it. TAKUT. Then, what the Dr said just made my heart drop.

"Boleh tapi risau sebab nafas dia laju. Jantung kita ni guna muscle and kalau laju sangat lama-lama apa jadi dekat muscle tu?"

"Penat..."

Sumpah takut masa ni. Pastu masa baby buat neb + sedut kahak ha memang menangis lah haku dekat situ.

Malam tu jugak pergi KPJ tapi tak ada bilik kosong since kes RSV kena stay dalam bilik yang single bed. Call private hospitals lain pun sama, tak ada kosong. We had the option to go straight to HTJ but we just wanted a faster process gitulah kononnya. Esoknya datang balik KPJ jumpa pakar. What he said, though, made my heart drop for the second time. 

Katanya baby nampak sesak nafas, kahak banyak. Masa tu still tak ada bilik available so dia suggest pergi HTJ terus sebab dah lambat, tak boleh tunggu lagi. I was so scared. To be very very honest I didn't expect that sebab alhamdulillah baby memang aktif je main macam biasa although dia tak sihat. Here I learned that kita tak boleh nak memandai when it comes to children's health. Sebab anak-anak tak tahu nak express rasa sakit tu. Kita nampak diorang okay tapi boleh jadi sebaliknya.

Lepas ambil neb (disertai tangisan baby dan mamanya), terus shoot pergi Kecemasan HTJ. Hampir berlari ya aku dibuatnya. Dekat sana, nak naik baran jadinya jumpa doctor yang judgmental. Doctor lain okay je. Dia sorang je gitu 😭 sakit jiwa raga jadinya. 

Bila dah dekat hospital, sambunglah lagi drama air mata baby + mama ahaha. Anak nangis, mak nangis. Anak tak nangis pun tetap maknya nangis agshshs. Tak bolehlah eh tengok anak sakit. First time dia kena pasang wire kat hidung untuk oxygen tu. First time kena cucuk IV drip masuk air. Tengok anak orang lain kena pun dah nangis, apatah lagi anak sendiri. 

Duduk emergency tu 7 jam++ sebab kena tunggu patient lain discharge dekat wad. Malam tu husband jaga. First time ya balik rumah masuk bilik tidur sorang sorang. Nangih la jugak. Lahh tak habis-habis nangis hahaha tapi gitulah kita ni hati tisu jugak sebenarnya. Selalu pam susu malam memang terus masuk botol sebab baby akan bangun minum. Tapi masa tu terus pack dalam storage bag sebab baby kat hospital. Cedihhh lagi. 

Lupa cakap. That very same day dekat hospital, baru nampak baby penat. Sebelum tu memang aktif sangat tapi kali ni nampak letih je nak tidur je. Risau jiwa raga. Tapi alhamdulillah the next day nampak aktif balik and dah boleh off oxygen hehe yayy. But since dia masih taknak minum susu/makan, still kena masuk air lagi. Luluh hati tengok bibir kering sampai berdarah hm.

After 2 days baru stop masuk air. Then once dah makin better minum susu and result darah pun okay, alhamdulillah baby discharged setelah 4 hari 3 malam dekat hospital 🥹 Sepanjang dekat hospital tu teringat je moments kena stay hospital seminggu masa nak bersalin haritu haha.

Alhamdulillah. So so so grateful Ya Allah. Rasa bersyukur tak terkata bila anak dah sihat. Masa mula-mula masuk tu, terus cari zikir apa nak baca waktu tak sihat and I found this:


Just sharing the zikr here. Banyak kali ulang baca dan doa supaya baby cepat sihat, cepat discharged. Tak sanggup tengok anak tak sihat lama sangat. Alhamdulillah, Allah kabulkan doa tu, berkat doa ramai orang yang sama-sama doakan baby jugak 🥺 Allahuakbar. Hanya Allah yang Maha Menyembuhkan ❤️

Lessons learned:
1. Be extraaaaa careful bila diri sendiri tak sihat/bawa anak keluar sebab kita pun tak tahu dan tak boleh nampak virus tu dekat mana. Tapi semoga tak sampai jadi paranoid lah.

2. Bila anak demam, always check suhu sebab memang tu je Dr akan tanya. Segala history sebelum dan sepanjang anak tak sihat pun silalah ingat sebab semua Dr akan repeat tanya balik.

3. Kalau rasa tak sedap hati, check je. Kalau ada apa-apa, insyaallah boleh detect awal. Kalau tak ada apa-apa sekalipun, alhamdulillah. Hati dah lega. Takdelah asyik terfikir-fikir.

Sampai sini dulu. Till the next post!
(Moga-moga soon. Hehe.)

Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No Comments
 Assalamualaikum 💓

*tarik nafas dalam-dalam*

*hembus nafas sambil tiup blog yang dah sekian lama berhabuk*

Helloooo my baby blog! It's been more than a year since I last posted haha.

Macam biasalah. Kadang-kadang rasa nak menaip tapi mood tu tak cukup sampai. Nak menaip dekat phone pun takdan dah. 

So, setahun dah berlalu. What's up? What's changed?

The biggest change in my life over the past year would be that, I'm married now! Alhamdulillah. Is it too late to write about the big day? Hahaha I guess it is, but you know what? I'm going to do it anyway!

Alhamdulillah, I'm married to A whom I talked about here last December. The preparations went well, although a bit stressful at times. I started my surveys and booked the big big stuff like the wedding hall, photographer, pelamin, MUA, etc. since the previous year. Why so early, if you ask me? Sebab aku taknak stress agshshs but at the same time need to make sure that you have surveyed enough and went through everything before you decide to go for the one.

I guess the top #1 thing that stressed me out was the pelamin/catering (same PIC). I booked them in Jan/Feb 2023. Everything was okay je, PIC pun baik and helpful. Problem dia satu je - kedai dia jauh dari rumah but since harga dia affordable and everything looked good, aku okay je. Tapi lama-lama jadi tak okay sebab rasa macam dia explain tak habis. A few times jugak kena berulang pergi kedai dia sebab nak double confirm information masa majlis tu. Sebab dekat whatsapp tu tah la nak reply nya lambat, lepastu kadang-kadang macam dia tak faham pulak apa aku tanya. Banyak sangat miscommunication. Tapi dia baik tapi ko faham tak 😭

Paling tak boleh go, untuk pelamin and deco tu, I requested colour all white + soft pink gitu. Macam 90% white, 10% soft pink. Kira taknak ada colour hijau daun tu langsung lah and dia pun macam "okay kita boleh buat". Tapi wahh. Sehari sebelum majlis, diorang sampai dewan lambat untuk setup, buat haku stress je malam tu. Pastu esok pagi-pagi bangun masa D-Day tu, tengok dia send gambar pelamin lagi rasa macam nak ngamuk tapi takleh ngamuk sebab nak kahwin agshshs. KENAPA ADA HIJAU DI SITUUU. HARITU KATA BOLEH BUAT TAPI KENAPA MASIH ADA HIJAU-HIJAUAN. Okay tutup cerita, dah hampir setahun dah. Masa tengok gambar dia send tu, I kept reminding myself like, "takpe benda dah jadi, tenang tenang just go with the flow".

Would I recommend them? Only the catering, yes, sebab makanan dia sedap and service pun bagus hewhew. Not the pelamin. 

Okay back to the D-Day! Weirdly enough, alhamdulillah, aku sangatlah tenang before, during and after majlis haha. Pagi tu macam chill je, macam takde apa nak pergi nikah ni. Siap-siap, gelak-gelak apa semua, masih tenang. Knowing myself, I would have cried sebab nervous + rasa overwhelmed haha tapi alhamdulillah Allah kurniakan ketenangan luar biasa hari tu. Lepas nikah pun masih chill lagi. Ingatkan tengok mama nangis, aku nangis sekali tapi tidakk. Suami kita pulak yang nangis haha comel je 😂 

Alhamdulillah. Segala puji bagi Allah. Everything went well. Syukur dikelilingi keluarga dan kawan-kawan yang baik. Yang membantu menenangkan jiwa raga.

----------------------------------------

The next news would be, alhamdulillah, we're blessed with a mini us inside me. I've started my maternity leave since our baby is due this week. I can't wait to meet these little kicks, but at the same time I'm feeling nervous. 

My pregnancy journey is good, alhamdulillah. Tak ada craving yang bukan-bukan and in fact, the craving can wait haha opposite sangat dengan before pregnant. Sebelum ni, ada masanya bila craving tu boleh nangis kalau tak dapat ya 😂 Tapi alhamdulillah pregnancy craving ni memudahkan hehe. The worst part would be masa first trimester bila aku tak boleh nak bau masakan. Goreng ke rebus ke apa ke, semua tak boleh. Everything smelled nasty. Like I know it's just the smell of food tapi Ya Allah tak boleh tahan bau tu. I think it lasted until 4-5 bulan then it slowly disappeared. After that, bermulalah episod-episod sakit badan sampailah sekarang haha.

Lagi satu, emosi jadi lagi senang terganggu. Lagi senang menangis. Lagi-lagi bila overthinking ni, mulalah. Tiba-tiba je nangis. But that's normal je kan.

Insyaallah, doakan aku dan baby selamat dan sihat sepanjang proses sebelum, semasa dan selepas bersalin nanti. Insyaallah we can do this!

Till the next post!
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No Comments
 Assalamualaikum 💓

Hi there. It's me again. Two posts in the same month?! Haven't done that in a while.

You know how women go through the menstrual cycle monthly? I have an additional phase where I have trouble sleeping. It's either I take a long time to fall asleep, or I wake up way too early and cannot go back to sleep. Usually, it's the latter lah. I've been facing this for the past week and I'm just super sleepy right now. Add headache to that package.

I hope this phase goes away asap because I can't stand the constant headache.

People usually assume that it happens because I think too much. It's true to a certain point, but I don't think that's the case. I don't even do it intentionally. My brain would just suddenly start thinking about the most random stuff that are not of my concern anymore, and I have no idea how to stop it. Pink noise does help sometimes, but if I start falling asleep to the noise, I become immune to it the next day and it won't work anymore.

It comes by once in a while. Comes uninvited, leaves unannounced. Tiba-tiba nanti dah okay, dah boleh tidur macam biasa. I'm used to it, but at the same time I can't seem to get used to it. Namsein.

I just yawned for the nth time today.

But alhamdulillah, I'm still alive and healthy. I'm grateful for my life right now; the people, work, environment, etc. There are so many more things that I should be grateful for, rather than complain about my sleeping habits.

---------------------------

This is a bit out of the blue, but I suddenly want to write about iman. I always face this struggle where, alhamdulillah I feel so close to Allah but in the next 10 minutes, my iman can drop to a point where I start to wonder how and what I should do to feel close to Allah. It can happen instantly. I don't even have to wait until the next solat time to feel that way. It makes me realize how fragile one's iman can be, and the only way we can fix that is by praying to Allah to tetapkan our iman. Just pray, pray and pray. Never stop praying to Allah no matter how shameful or sinful we feel at that moment.

Allah knows us best. Allah knows what lies deep inside our hearts without us having to say it. There's no way to lie to Allah about our feelings. 

Semoga kita menjadi insan yang sentiasa mencari Allah, mencari keredaan-Nya dan sentiasa berdoa mengharapkan pengampunan-Nya dalam hidup kita. Semoga kita teguh melawan nafsu dan bisikan syaitan dan sentiasa ingat yang Allah sedang melihat kita. Semoga Allah sentiasa hadirkan penyesalan dan keinsafan dalam hati kita tiap kali kita berbuat dosa.

Semoga kita semua bertemu di syurga nanti.

Insyaallah amin.



Till the next post!
Share
Tweet
Pin
Share
No Comments
Newer Posts
Older Posts

Le Writer

Photo Profile
NSF

I used to dream of becoming a writer. The dream is gone, the habit lives.

Read More

Le Categories

Myself Thoughts Random Blogging Everyday Stuff Talk Study Life Places Rant Harry Potter K-Pop New Year Insomnia Day6 Baby Life Self-reflect

Le History

  • ▼  2026 (2)
    • ▼  July 2026 (2)
      • Hidayah
      • Kesedaran
  • ►  2025 (3)
    • ►  December 2025 (1)
    • ►  August 2025 (1)
    • ►  July 2025 (1)
  • ►  2024 (1)
    • ►  September 2024 (1)
  • ►  2023 (3)
    • ►  July 2023 (2)
    • ►  May 2023 (1)
  • ►  2022 (4)
    • ►  August 2022 (1)
    • ►  July 2022 (2)
    • ►  March 2022 (1)
  • ►  2021 (3)
    • ►  December 2021 (1)
    • ►  June 2021 (1)
    • ►  March 2021 (1)
  • ►  2020 (9)
    • ►  October 2020 (2)
    • ►  September 2020 (2)
    • ►  August 2020 (2)
    • ►  June 2020 (1)
    • ►  May 2020 (1)
    • ►  February 2020 (1)
  • ►  2019 (7)
    • ►  August 2019 (1)
    • ►  July 2019 (1)
    • ►  June 2019 (2)
    • ►  May 2019 (1)
    • ►  March 2019 (1)
    • ►  January 2019 (1)
  • ►  2018 (13)
    • ►  December 2018 (1)
    • ►  November 2018 (1)
    • ►  September 2018 (1)
    • ►  August 2018 (2)
    • ►  July 2018 (4)
    • ►  May 2018 (1)
    • ►  February 2018 (1)
    • ►  January 2018 (2)
  • ►  2017 (25)
    • ►  December 2017 (2)
    • ►  November 2017 (1)
    • ►  October 2017 (1)
    • ►  September 2017 (2)
    • ►  August 2017 (3)
    • ►  July 2017 (7)
    • ►  June 2017 (5)
    • ►  May 2017 (1)
    • ►  April 2017 (1)
    • ►  March 2017 (1)
    • ►  February 2017 (1)
  • ►  2015 (8)
    • ►  March 2015 (4)
    • ►  February 2015 (1)
    • ►  January 2015 (3)
  • ►  2014 (4)
    • ►  December 2014 (1)
    • ►  October 2014 (1)
    • ►  June 2014 (1)
    • ►  April 2014 (1)
  • ►  2013 (13)
    • ►  December 2013 (3)
    • ►  November 2013 (1)
    • ►  October 2013 (2)
    • ►  September 2013 (1)
    • ►  August 2013 (1)
    • ►  July 2013 (1)
    • ►  June 2013 (2)
    • ►  April 2013 (1)
    • ►  January 2013 (1)
instagram

Created with by ThemeXpose | Distributed By Gooyaabi Templates