Hi there. It's me again. Two posts in the same month?! Haven't done that in a while.

You know how women go through the menstrual cycle monthly? I have an additional phase where I have trouble sleeping. It's either I take a long time to fall asleep, or I wake up way too early and cannot go back to sleep. Usually, it's the latter lah. I've been facing this for the past week and I'm just super sleepy right now. Add headache to that package.

I hope this phase goes away asap because I can't stand the constant headache.

People usually assume that it happens because I think too much. It's true to a certain point, but I don't think that's the case. I don't even do it intentionally. My brain would just suddenly start thinking about the most random stuff that are not of my concern anymore, and I have no idea how to stop it. Pink noise does help sometimes, but if I start falling asleep to the noise, I become immune to it the next day and it won't work anymore.

It comes by once in a while. Comes uninvited, leaves unannounced. Tiba-tiba nanti dah okay, dah boleh tidur macam biasa. I'm used to it, but at the same time I can't seem to get used to it. Namsein.

I just yawned for the nth time today.

But alhamdulillah, I'm still alive and healthy. I'm grateful for my life right now; the people, work, environment, etc. There are so many more things that I should be grateful for, rather than complain about my sleeping habits.

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This is a bit out of the blue, but I suddenly want to write about iman. I always face this struggle where, alhamdulillah I feel so close to Allah but in the next 10 minutes, my iman can drop to a point where I start to wonder how and what I should do to feel close to Allah. It can happen instantly. I don't even have to wait until the next solat time to feel that way. It makes me realize how fragile one's iman can be, and the only way we can fix that is by praying to Allah to tetapkan our iman. Just pray, pray and pray. Never stop praying to Allah no matter how shameful or sinful we feel at that moment.

Allah knows us best. Allah knows what lies deep inside our hearts without us having to say it. There's no way to lie to Allah about our feelings. 

Semoga kita menjadi insan yang sentiasa mencari Allah, mencari keredaan-Nya dan sentiasa berdoa mengharapkan pengampunan-Nya dalam hidup kita. Semoga kita teguh melawan nafsu dan bisikan syaitan dan sentiasa ingat yang Allah sedang melihat kita. Semoga Allah sentiasa hadirkan penyesalan dan keinsafan dalam hati kita tiap kali kita berbuat dosa.

Semoga kita semua bertemu di syurga nanti.

Insyaallah amin.

Till the next post!