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Assalamualaikum 💖

Selamat hari raya everyone! (Too late I know but still) (I found the emojis again 😜)

So how was your raya this year? Mine was still as lively as before. Alhamdulillah. My aunt's family came over and we celebrated the day with them. I'm grateful that I still have my family with me this raya as well. 


There's another thing for me to be grateful for. 



A lot of things have been revealed and resolved the past week between me and my friends. All the unsaid things, all the fears within, all the ties broken. Things that, for years, I thought I could never find the answers to. But they were fixed in just A WEEK. We've been holding the emotions in for so long, so long that I have actually forgotten most parts of it and moved on. 

But guess what? It turns out that this all happened because of lies. Lies that once cracked our friendships. Lies that made us go through hell. Lies that, for some reason, we bought. It was stupid, I know. But I'm glad that we reached out to each other this time around and united against a liar.

I'm happy to have my friends back as a whole. No more of us being wary of each other. I'm happy that we chose to trust each other this time. But I'm upset that it took us this long to resolve the misunderstandings. We wasted so much time that we could have spent together by doubting one another. I feel extremely sorry for this. 

It kind of reminds me of Dilan and Milea; how they misunderstood each other and only realized it when there was no going back. It was too late for them, but luckily, not for us. I don't even know how to describe how thankful I am. Alhamdulillah. 


P.S. Lesson learned. Always trust your guts. They could be right.


Till the next post! 🎈
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Assalamualaikum.


WOW I HAVEN'T BEEN HERE FOR SO LONG AND NOW BLOGGER HAS CHANGED HAHA. I can't even find the emojis anywhere sheesh I'm too used to expressing myself using emojis. My writing feels angry when there isn't one. Or am I the only one who feels this way?

I honestly don't know why I'm here. I did my online presentation on green awareness today. Like finally, I got the chance to. It's a "first come, first serve" kind of presentation, so everyone was trying to seize the opportunity to present. I've been practising for two days and if I still didn't get to present today, I even thought of giving up lol.

How's life? Life's been good, alhamdulillah. A quick summary of 2020 so far:


I finished my final exams in January, that was the last time I saw my classmates. 

After the exams, I went hiking with Hazim at Bukit Batu Putih, which was much much easier than Gunung Datuk. But the route to and from the beach was super hard and steep bruh me being me, I wanted to give up. But that was nothing compared to my prior experience. At least I didn't cry this time.
(Note to self: Buy a new pair of sports shoes if you want to go hiking again.)

I underwent internship at RAYMINTEX, Nuklear Malaysia for eight weeks. I loved it there. I don't know if I said this in my previous post. but everyone was really nice. They taught us instead of scolding. They showed us instead of ordering. Everyone was just very very helpful and accommodating. To be very honest, I didn't want to leave that place. I would really love to work with them. During my first week there, I even said that I had a feeling that I was going to miss this place. Farewell is always a huge problem to me because I just have this huge attachment to things that make me happy. I'm hoping to see them again someday. And that was also the last time I saw my other classmates undergoing internship at Nuklear Malaysia. 

MCO happened. I've gone out exactly twice since then. It doesn't really bother me that I can't go out though. That's how much of a homebody I am. It feels nice to spend every day with my family. I do miss my friends sometimes but that's about it. UiTM also decided that there would only be online classes this semester. That means the next time I'm going to see my classmates is during our graduation day. 

I don't think much has happened since then. Aside from online classes and assignments. There are times when I'd think about my future. What am I going to do for work, am I going to pass the interviews, will I be able to repay my parents' hard work in raising me, will I be able to take care of them the way they have been caring for me. I think about all those stuff. 

Life is hard, adulting is even harder. 

I'm thinking of editing my blog again. Someday. 
I ALSO NEED TO FIGURE OUT HOW THIS NEW BLOGGER WORKS.

Take care everyone. 
Stay home, and if you can't, stay safe. 
Wash your hands frequently,
wear face masks if you're sick, 
avoid crowded public areas,
and practise social distancing. 

Praying for everyone's health and safety. Do pray for mine and my family's too.

Till the next post!
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Assalamualaikum 💖

My first post of 2020.

It's funny how my last post was on wearing braces. It's like I put on braces and poof I just disappeared without a trace, when in fact, a lot of things have happened since then. I mean it's been months, of course lots of things would have happened.

I do write sometimes, but I only have them saved in my phone. Things like my emotions, my thoughts, my dreams. Simple stuff, but ones I'd like to express at once. They're personal and I wouldn't upload them anywhere unless I feel like it.

I always write down my dreams (not dreams as in what I want to do in the future, but dreams as in the ones you have when you sleep), but not all of them. Only ones that I'd like to remember for a long time. Because once, they made me feel good when I woke up, and I want to carry that feeling in my writing, so that I can feel the emotion again in the future. I love doing it. Writing just gives you that satisfaction.

I don't have a talent for poems, but I love writing them as well! Mostly in English and Malay. I wrote one in Korean, and another one in Indonesian (Dilan is to blame). They are not exactly beautiful but the emotions I felt when I wrote them are carried in every word. For example when I wrote about my crush, and I read it now, I can still feel how fresh my feelings for him were. When we first met. When I started liking him. When I first realized it. That exact feeling right there, I can feel it. You know what I mean?

My own words carry that much impact on me.

Perhaps that's the reason my blog still lives, while others have abandoned theirs. Writing heals me. I let off some burdens through writing. I express my emotions through writing. When I don't blog, I write on my phone. Sometimes on paper, but rarely. Aaaanndd I also love to read my writings.💖 Again and again and again. Be it on this blog, my phone, or Twitter. I hope I'm not the only one who does this?😂

I can't remember if I've said this before, but because I loved books so much, I used to want to be a writer. I mean, I still do, if I could, but I don't have the confidence to do it anymore. I don't possess a variety of imaginations as I once had, so I don't think I can pull off creating an interesting world that draws readers in. Even if I could, I don't know if I could continue the story or end it well. It's been ages since I wrote short stories so ugh. I would probably try writing one again someday (when will that day come, or will it ever come, I don't know for certain). I'd love to do it as a hobby.😝

Oh man I've strayed too far. I was actually here to write on life update since it's been so long. But here we are. I'm not even surprised anymore.😂 I'm not that talkative in real life but I sure talk a lot when I write. Guess I'll write that in another post then.😂

Till the next post!💕


P.S. I just remembered that it used to be "annyeong goodbye adios" (a long time ago). I don't know how and when it changed to "till the next post" but I like it 😝
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