Assalamualaikum💖

(If you're here to judge, go away. Negativity is very much unwanted right now.)

Hello. This is a post dedicated to my first album, Shoot Me: Youth Part 1.

I'm writing this because I feel like I can't let you go, although I just did. 

I can't believe I made that decision. I can't believe I let you go. What was I even thinking?

I'm sorry for letting you go.

You were, and still are very special to me. You're like my firstborn. You were the first K-Pop item that I owned. You were the first one who entered my K-Pop box. I was over the moon the first time I held you in my hands. And the last time I held you, I was overwhelmed with a thousand emotions I couldn't fathom. But most of it all, I felt broken.

I still feel sentimental whenever I listen to the songs from the album; Shoot Me, Still, Somehow, Feeling Good, Talking To, Warning. They bring me back to my study week in semester 2 at college, when my roommate was still at home and I was alone in the room. I was supposed to be studying, but guess what I did? I streamed Day6 Youth Concert in Seoul for three days straight through Mixlr, where I heard the members singing the songs from their new album for the first time, before the album even came out. My first paper was on Monday, and I spent my Sunday afternoon with Day6. Two days before my second paper, the album was released so my revision was accompanied by the new songs.

And about a month later, you reached me.

I'm not entirely sure how I should let you go. I keep reminding myself that this is a good start if I want to get rid of my attachment towards K-Pop. But this is hard. The box feels empty now without your small presence. The other albums are all taller and bigger than you are, so I ended up caring for you the most, making sure you were always at the top. I usually opened the box and could see you right away, but now? You're not even there.

My heart feels heavy to let you go. But I trust Krys would treasure you as much as, or even more than I did. I know, for sure, you'll be safe with her.

I'll miss you. Thank you for all the memories.

Till the next post!

 Assalamualaikum 💖

Hello. I'm procrastinating. And I'm not proud of it. Thank you.

I should've done this weeks ago. Probably months. But it's something that I loathe so I kept putting it off to tomorrow, tomorrow and another tomorrow. Until today comes. I hope I'll be done with it by midnight and not procrastinate again.

If I can earn money through procrastinating. I'd be a billionaire by now.

I have a dream. Or maybe a goal. It makes me so happy just thinking about it.

I want to get a job that pays well, with passive income in my bank account every month. I don't know that much about passive income but I hope the income keeps increasing every single day until the day comes when it's unnecessary for me to go to work. But I'll keep working anyway because what else am I supposed to do then?

With that much income per month, I hope to be able to support my parents so they won't have to work anymore. They can just rest at home and do anything that they want to without having to think about persevering through another hard day at work tomorrow. They can buy anything that they want to, do activities, go on vacations; literally anything that has been on their wishlist all this while. They have sacrificed a lot for me and my family. Their bright youth days were gone as they were busy providing for us four siblings, which I feel really grateful but sorry for. So yes, they deserve all the happiness and comfort in this world. I want to be the one to take care of them now.

I don't wish to live a luxurious life. I'm content with the way things are now, but I really pray that I can make life better for my parents. Earning enough to provide for my parents and family is my ultimate goal. It would be even better if I have some extra income that I can share with people in need. I'll start with my relatives, and followed by just anyone in this world who needs it. Contributing to Islam at the same time. I've always wished I could help more people going through hard times financially, so I think I'd feel much happier if I could do this. I'll save aside some money in case of emergency as well.

My heart's beating fast at the thought of all this happening. Being able to make the world a better place for my parents, family, friends and everyone else. I guess this is the definition of success.

I aspire to be this kind of person. 

Till the next post!

Assalamualaikum 💖

I was on the phone with Jasmin last Thursday night and suddenly felt the urge to check my phone. I saw notifications from two WhatsApp groups; my class and my group of degree friends. My heart started beating fast as I wondered what was going on, so I clicked on the group with my friends first.

It turned out that there was a link to check the examination results a few hours earlier than it was supposed to come out. I was like 'BRO HOW COME but you know what we can wonder about that later!' as I opened the link and entered my ID and password. At this point, I could barely hear what Jasmin was talking about.

And...

"JAS JAS JAS JAS JAS JAS!"

"RESULT AKU DAH KELUAR! I GOT ...!"

Welp she said an abundant of things afterwards as she screamed excitedly. I could literally imagine how she was behaving on the other side; smiling with her 'I knew it!' hand movements haha damn I miss this girl. I don't know when I'll be able to see her next because she's too far away. Hoping it'll be soon (real soon).

Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah.

I feel very grateful for everything; for my results, my supportive family and friends, and my whole three years as a degree student.

Three years full of ups and downs.

After my call with Jasmin, I listened to some songs and when Roy Kim - Suddenly was playing, a pang of longing hit me. I missed my friends. A lot of my classmates uploaded our class photos, making me feel nostalgic. I can't believe my degree life is really ending; that the present will soon become memories.

It feels like I'm really entering the adulthood now. May the best things be coming for us soon, and in the future.

Till the next post!